How to Disgrace a Lady Read online

  This was the problem with virgins. With his usual women, it was all straightforward: pleasure for pleasure with no complications afterwards, no expectations. No one mistook those encounters as a prelude to love. Everyone involved knew the rules of those engagements.

  Alixe Burke did not play by those rules and yet the pleasure she’d brought him had far superseded any he’d known. There’d been an indescribable completeness to the release she’d given him. But it hadn’t been enough. It had merely whetted his appetite for more. After the fireworks, he’d entertained indecent thoughts of her all night and most of the day. Walking beside her at the fair had been an exquisite sort of torture. Limiting himself to a kiss behind a tree had been another when all he’d wanted to do was toss up her skirts and bury himself in her until he was cured of the wanting.

  The coolness of the water did nothing to subdue his arousal. He could imagine her writhing against the tree trunk near the shore, screaming her release as he took her. She would be glorious in her abandon, her hair streaming about her. She would call his name …

  ‘Merrick.’

  His imaginings were getting fairly vivid. Her voice sounded as if it were here in the grove with him.

  ‘Merrick!’ The call came again, more insistent this time.

  Merrick opened his eyes. There stood the object of his musings on the bank of the swimming hole, beckoning him with the curl of one outstretched hand.

  He neared the shore and she raised her arms to her hair where it lay in the loose chignon she preferred on warm days. She tugged and it fell loose about her, a coy smile on her lips. His heart thumped at the universal signs of a woman with seduction on her mind.

  Merrick grinned, arms crossed as he floated on his back in the water, his head up just enough to keep her in view. ‘Why, Alixe Burke, did you come here to seduce me?’

  Her smile widened. Her hands dropped to the fastenings of her gown. ‘Absolutely, although I might need you to get out of the water and help me.’

  ‘With the seduction? Gladly.’

  ‘No, my dress. Perhaps I should have planned better and worn something a little easier to get out of.’ Alixe gave a charming laugh of helplessness.

  He rose up out of the water and Alixe sucked in her breath. A warm sense of pride filled him at her admiration. He spun her about and set to work on the dress, his wet hands leaving watery tracks down the back of her gown. ‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ he murmured in her ear, pushing her long cascade of hair to one side, leaving her neck bare to his kisses. He hoped the question was merely rhetorical, but he had to ask. That streak of honour Alixe was convinced he possessed was hard at war with his desire.

  He pushed the dress off her shoulders and she turned in his arms to face him, her own arms wrapping about his neck, her head thrown back to look up at him. ‘I want this and more, Merrick. This time I want it all. With you. No more individual pleasure, Merrick. I want us to find pleasure … together.’

  Her words would undo him before they even got started. His erection pressed against the thin fabric of her chemise. ‘Alixe, I am flattered by your offer, but I cannot ruin you for a few hours of pleasure.’

  ‘I do not care,’ she said with a confident ferocity that made him smile.

  ‘Your future husband might.’ He had to know she understood what she was asking, what she was doing. God knew he wanted her beyond reason, but he had to cling to the shreds of that reason as long as he could for her sake.

  ‘I’ve enough money to make him forget,’ she whispered, reaching a hand between them to cup him with a light squeeze that sent a jolt of fierce, raw desire ricocheting through him.

  There was nothing for it. He would give her something to remember. And himself, too.

  The dusky summer evening closed around them as he took her down to the ground. At his kiss, she’d begun to burn; now she was fully consumed, revelling in the weight of his body over hers, the muscled sinews of his arms where they bracketed her in the place between her shoulders and head. His pale hair had darkened from the water and dripped erotic droplets on her breasts. She could feel his erection pulse against her thigh and she arched against him in her hurry to find relief from the building inferno. But Merrick would not be rushed, his damp skin cool against the heat of her own. His hand was at the juncture of her thighs, massaging, stimulating her body into ready compliance for what came next, his mouth at her breast, teasing with his tongue until she could bear the twin points of pleasure no more.

  ‘Open a bit more for me, my love,’ Merrick whispered at her ear, his knee gently widening the space between her legs and then he was there, poised at her entrance. She strained towards him, her heat rising again, her breath coming in gasps as he plunged.

  She could feel him sliding inside her until the easy sensation stopped, replaced by a razor-sharp stab of pain. She cried out. She’d not expected that. There’d been no allusion to pain in their previous encounters.

  ‘Shh,’ Merrick hushed her. ‘Be still, it will pass in a moment and then the pleasure will come. I promise. It only hurts the once.’

  Already the pain was ebbing, her body relaxing around him, a new sensation starting to grow as he began to move inside her. Merrick took her mouth in a kiss, his hips pressed to hers, coaxing her body to join him in the rhythm. She moaned, her body moving with his, her need rising. Merrick’s blue eyes were midnight-dark with passion, his body straining as his own desires spiked. Her body careened towards release, Merrick thrust once more, surging them over an unseen edge and they soared. There was no other word for it. Somewhere, somehow, they were flying in a world that had fractured into a kaleidoscope of sensation.

  Her only thought as she floated back to earth was that she’d been right. She’d been right to do this most intimate act with Merrick. It was nearly inconceivable to think of doing this with another. Yet when Merrick rose and held out a hand to her, she took it, letting him lead her to the pond, neither of them abashed by their nakedness.

  In the gathering dark, they swam and bathed, basking in the sunset filtering through the trees. There were more kisses and gentle love play in the water, but Merrick did not take her again no matter how she pressed him. She would be too sore, he said.

  At last, Merrick rose from the water and searched for his clothes. This is what Eden must have been like, Alixe thought, taking her fill of his nakedness while he dried, appreciating the lean curve of buttock descending into long thigh. Lord, how she’d become wanton. Two weeks ago, the sight of his nakedness had sent her stumbling over logs. Now, she could not get enough. He pulled on his trousers and she made a disappointed mewl.

  ‘Sorry, love. Convention demands I wear trousers.’ Merrick shifted his hips, adjusting the fit of his trousers, his hands at the waistband to work the fastenings. Alixe sucked in her breath. Even the way he put on his trousers was erotically fascinating. It was as sensual and intimate to watch him dress as it was to watch him undress.

  Merrick threw her a knowing smile. He’d done that on purpose. ‘I should splash you for that,’ she scolded. ‘You were teasing me.’

  ‘I was teasing you? My dear, I think you have that wrong. You’re the one who’s still naked.’ Fully garbed, Merrick walked to the pond’s edge and held out a hand. ‘I’ll play lady’s maid. Let’s get you dried off.’

  Twenty minutes and several kisses later, they walked out of Eden, hand in hand. Everything had changed and nothing had changed. Merrick could not marry her, or want to marry her, any more than he had that morning. But Alixe suspected he most definitely had ruined her for other men far beyond the technicalities of having lain with her.

  The house came into view and Merrick squeezed her hand. ‘Shall you go on? They’ll be missing you.’

  ‘I’ll tell them I stayed at the fair. No one saw me come back.’ They were the first words they’d said since they’d left the pond.

  Merrick nodded. ‘It’s as good an excuse as any.’

  Silence followed. She wasn’t ready to g
o in. The moment she crossed the lawn, everything would revert to normal. She wanted to ask if he would come to her again, but she feared sounding too desperate. Perhaps it would have to be she who went to him. She searched for something to say, but found nothing.

  ‘I’ll see you inside.’ Then she started walking.

  Straight into hell.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Alixe’s mother saw her first as she was ‘just coming down’ to join everyone in the drawing room. Alixe had wisely opted to use the servants’ stairs and return to her room undetected. She was doubly glad for the decision now that it was clear her mother’s sharp eyes had been on the lookout for her.

  ‘There you are, my dear.’ Her mother beamed at her and Alixe’s suspicions rose. Alixe smoothed the front of her skirt, thankful she’d had time to change into one of Merrick’s new gowns, a lightweight summer silk in deep apricot that highlighted the healthy glow of her skin and the rich walnut hues of her hair.

  ‘You look lovely, the new wardrobe is perfection itself.’ Alixe could not recall the last time her mother had complimented her clothing. She searched her mother’s smiling face for clues to this transformation. Ever since she’d turned down the last offer, her mother had treated her with an air of polite disregard. She’d been left to her own devices once it became clear she did not mean to return to London, her mother in clear despair of seeing her daughter married.

  Tonight was a most glaring exception.

  ‘I came back late from the fair and lay down for a moment. I must have dozed off,’ Alixe improvised hastily to explain her tardy arrival.

  Her mother shooed away the need for apology with a wave of her hand. ‘No matter, you’re here now. Your father and I have exciting news for you. Come join us in the study. Jamie can play host in our absence.’

  Her father was already there, having taken up his customary place behind the massive desk where all important business was conducted. But he was not alone. Sitting comfortably in a chair in front of the desk was Archibald Redfield. Redfield had not spent the last few hours rolling about a swimming hole. He was turned out in his country finest, looking neatly barbered and self-confidently handsome with his dark-gold hair and alert hazel eyes. He rose when she entered and strode forwards to take her hand. ‘My dearest Alixe, you look ravishing. I dare say a day at the fair has put some colour into your cheeks. When I saw you earlier, you looked a trifle pale.’

  What was going on? Alixe’s first thoughts were that Redfield had reported Merrick’s kiss from the fair or, worse, that Redfield had somehow known what she and Merrick had been up to at the swimming hole. But her mother looked far too happy for anything calamitous to have occurred. Redfield was a rat, but not tonight. Tonight he was playing the indulgent gentleman to the hilt and that worried her greatly. She preferred the rat.

  ‘Have a seat, my dear.’ Her father gestured for her to take an empty chair. ‘We have fabulous news. Just this afternoon, our Mr Redfield has asked for your hand in marriage.’

  ‘This is wonderful,’ her mother gushed. ‘He’s our neighbour, after all, and you won’t live far from home. It’s the most perfect of arrangements.’

  Redfield smiled and humbly studied his nails while her mother outlined the benefits of the match. Alixe listened in growing horror.

  ‘What about St Magnus?’ She managed to slip the words in when her mother stopped to draw breath.

  ‘You’re absolutely correct, darling.’ Redfield looked up from his nails with a benevolent smile that bordered on patronising. ‘He should be told immediately. You and I have much to thank him for.’

  Alixe bristled, but Redfield acted quickly. ‘If it’s all right, I would like a moment alone with my fiancée.’ He gave a wide, white-toothed grin as he said the word, looking every inch the pleased bridegroom.

  He dropped his act fast enough once her parents had exited the room. ‘I know what’s going through your pretty head, Alixe Burke,’ he began. ‘But you needn’t worry. St Magnus can’t harm you now. I won’t allow him to slander my wife. I explained the entire situation to your father, how St Magnus was overly exuberant after winning the competition.’

  He was talking about Merrick’s ill-advised kiss, but that was merely the tip of the iceberg. ‘St Magnus has been “overly exuberant” before this, I suspect, hasn’t he? But I don’t care, such is my regard for you.’

  Alixe was not fooled about the nature of his ‘regard’. It had nothing to do with his affections.

  ‘You’ve become quite desperate for my fortune.’ She held his gaze steadily.

  ‘Your parents have become quite desperate to see you married. Far more desperate than they were this spring. St Magnus has surprised us all. To my way of thinking, this works to both our benefits. I am desperate to wed, they are desperate to see St Magnus as far from you as possible.’

  Redfield made an off-handed gesture. ‘You should not be so surprised. This is how these alliances are made, my dear. Driven by my regard for you, I went about it all wrong this spring by asking you first. If I had gone straight to your father from the start, this might all have been settled long before now. I could have saved you from the ignominy of St Magnus’s attentions.’

  ‘I am not “your dear”,’ Alixe ground out.

  ‘You’re not St Magnus’s either.’ Redfield gave a mirthless laugh. ‘He will be disappointed I’ve beaten him to the prize. But that is all. Men like him don’t care to lose. He played a deeper game with your father’s terms and lost. I’ll have your money, he’ll have his freedom. I suspect in the end, he’ll be happy enough knowing that he’s “lived to fight again another day” and all that. He will recover from this. There’s always another woman ready to support the St Magnuses of the world.’

  His cold analysis was revolting. She wanted to flee this room, wanted to throw herself on her parents’ mercy for whatever it was worth and tell them Redfield only wanted her money. More than that, she wanted to throw herself into Merrick’s arms and hear him tell her it wasn’t a lie, that he hadn’t wooed her for himself with the intention of claiming her dowry for his own, that he hadn’t used her body against her.

  ‘You disgust me.’ Alixe turned on her heel. But Redfield caught her fast, his face close to hers.

  ‘When you realise I’m being honest, you’ll thank me. You know precisely why I want you. St Magnus, on the other hand, has served you a platter of lies. This isn’t the first time he’s traded pleasure for funds and tried to dress it up as something more. Ask him about the Greenfield Twins some time.’

  Alixe wrenched her arm free. It wasn’t true and she would prove it just as soon as she could find Merrick.

  Merrick scanned the gathering in the drawing room. Alixe was nowhere to be found. It was not lost on him that the earl and countess were not present either. He hoped there hadn’t been any difficulties. Lost in his concerns, he startled at the sound of Jamie’s voice beside him.

  ‘Looking for Alixe?’ Merrick didn’t care for the tension in Jamie’s tone. It wasn’t like him.

  ‘Is she not here?’ Merrick queried carefully.

  ‘I need to tell you some news, news I hope you’ll be happy to hear.’ Jamie was drawing him outside onto the verandah, away from the other guests.

  ‘I know you’ve been spending a lot of time with Alixe these past weeks and I haven’t said anything. She’s been happy and she’s starting to dress as she should again. You’ve been good for her, although I can’t fathom why you’ve done it. She’s not your type of woman.’

  ‘Ashe doesn’t think so either,’ Merrick said with a touch of grim cynicism. He was getting tired of hearing about how unsuitable Alixe was for him. Did people actually think he didn’t know that? Even so, did anyone think knowing it could stop him from wanting her?

  Jamie shrugged in agreement and then elbowed him playfully. ‘It’s no secret what type of woman you like.’

  A walnut-haired one with sherry eyes who swims naked and cries her pleasure to the sunset skies. But h
e could not say that to Jamie, nor could he seek Jamie’s counsel about what to do next. He was feeling Ashe’s absence keenly.

  ‘Your news?’ Merrick pressed.

  ‘Archibald Redfield, our neighbour, has asked for her hand.’

  The news was like a physical blow. He should not have been stunned. He knew Redfield coveted her fortune. ‘But she’s to go to London and have her pick of the Season.’ Merrick managed to get out the words without exposing the scheme behind it. ‘Surely she will decline.’

  ‘Not this time. My father will not tolerate her refusing any offers at this point. He’s over the moon about it. They’re in the estate office discussing it right now. Redfield came right after his return from the fair.’

  Merrick supposed there was veiled reproach to his poor behaviour at the knife-throwing contest in there somewhere, but he was still reeling. He wasn’t ready to lose her so soon. He’d thought there’d be more time. He’d thought losing her in London would be easier, surrounded by his usual entertainments. Merrick placed a pleading hand on Jamie’s arm.

  ‘Do not allow this, Jamie. If you have any influence with your father, let her go to London and find someone better. The man is a fortune hunter. Do any of you know a thing about him?’ He was thinking quickly now. He couldn’t save himself, but perhaps he could still save Alixe. At the moment, it was the only thing that mattered.

  Jamie stiffened at the request, the reference to fortune hunting finding purchase with him. ‘What do you know, Merrick? Do you know something unsavoury about him?’

  Merrick shook his head. ‘Ask Alixe. Did you know she refused his overtures last spring? She didn’t say anything about it out of fear of your father’s wrath.’ Merrick drew a breath and pressed on. ‘The man doesn’t even have a title. What is your father thinking to marry Alixe to him without trying London once more?’